Why have sex if you are not ready

Opinion RELATIONSHIPS BY FIDEL ELIZCHRIST UJUNWA
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By Fidel Elizchrist Ujunwa

In our present world today, youth involvement in sexual relationships is very rampant.
Sex is supposed to be for only married couples but many will attribute maturity as a criterion for having sex and feign ignorance of the fact that sex is for married couples.

Sex is a natural phenomenon created by God to bind couples together and for procreation, but most youth in our present time abuses it by having premarital sex. Most relationships in our present time dwell on the sexual acts because they believe their relationship will not survive without it.

Having a physical relationship with someone leads to a greater emotional connection. In many cases having multiple partners before marriage results in needs for variety, which can lead to infidelity among partners after marriage. There are a lot of disadvantages to premarital sex than society leads us to believe.

Three powerful verses that talked about premarital sex are;

‘Marriage is to be honoured by all, and husbands and wives must be faithful to each other. God will judge those who are immoral and those who commit adultery’. ( Hebrew 13: 4 )

‘But a man who commits adultery hasn’t any sense. He is just destroying himself, he will be permanently disgraced’. ( Proverbs 6:32-33)

‘Avoid immortality, any other sin a man commits does not affect his body but the man who is guilty of sexual immorality sins against his own body’. (1 Corinthians 6:18)

Some words young people say to justify themselves on premarital sex:

  1. We are in the 21st century and it is now legal to have premarital sex permanently.
  2. It is not a bad thing and they will go as far as citing the health benefits of being sexually active.
  3. Life has no duplicate. So, let’s enjoy it now.
  4. Body no be firewood.
  5. God will understand.

Dangers of premarital sex;

-Transmission of diseases STDs.
-Unwanted pregnancies.
-Emotional scaring from a promiscuous lifestyle of multiple partners.

  • Abortion.

Reasons most young people engage in premarital sex;

  1. They want to feel among their peers, they indulge in sex because their friends do the same.
  2. Curiosity: The desire to have an experience and know what it feels like to have sex makes many engage in the act.
  3. Peer pressure: The type of friends people move out with will either influence them negatively or positively. Some young people have sex because their friends do the same,
    4.Pleasure: Youngsters have sex to derive pleasure. They see the sexual acts as fun and they believe it makes their relationship safe.
  4. Financial purpose: The quest to have money makes many youngsters engage in premarital sex.

Reasons why young people say ‘No’ to sex

  1. The bible condemns it; Most youth say no to sex because it is against their religion and belief. They hear the word from the man of God on a daily basis speaking against it.
  2. To avoid contracting STDs (sexually transmitted disease) or sexually transmitted infection (STI). Most infections and diseases are gotten through sexual acts, and they are deadly and difficult to cure. They might also lead to infertility if not treated properly. Some youngsters decide to avoid it to prevent these infections and diseases that will affect them.
  3. To avoid changes in the body: Premarital sex or having sex before marriage tends to change the physiological aspect of humans.
    It might make the person look older than their age.
  4. To prevent unwanted pregnancies; Most people avoid sex in order to avoid getting pregnant when they are not ready. Knowing that most of the contraceptives are not 100% efficient, one can still get pregnant even after using them, and also to prevent abortion, forcefully removing of the zygote in the womb which is a big sin against God.

It’s widely known that even with the risk attached to premarital sex, young people still indulge in these sexual acts because of lack of self-control, lack of sex – education, negative peer influence, negative exposure, parents’ influence e.t.c.

Why have sex if you are not ready?

-If you know you cannot marry, don’t have sex with her.
-If you know you cannot marry him, don’t have sex with him.
-If you know you can’t take care of the outcome of sex, do not have sex.
-If you know you can’t stand her when she says she missed her period, then do not have sex with her.
-if you only love her curves, boobs, and boots, do not have sex with her because those curves might be out of place in the future. You need to love her with all your heart.
-If you know you will make her abort the baby, then do not have sex with her.

Dangers of premarital relationship

1.High possibility of a breakup: If one tends to lose interest in the partner or feels sexually dissatisfied in the relationship, there are high chances of a breakup. Sexual incompatibility may make the entire relationship lose value and the partners may decide to end the relationship.

  1. Trauma in case of unwanted pregnancy; Unwanted pregnancies can have devastating consequences if the male partner isn’t supportive to the female partner, she might be left to fend for herself alone which in most cases isn’t an easy one. And if she considers an abortion, it will have a lifelong physical and psychological effect on her.

3.High risks of STDs: There are tendencies of contracting sexually transmitted diseases ( STDs). It might be itching, burning rashes on the genital part. At this stage, one may not have enough resources or knowledge to deal with medical complications.

  1. Stepping into marriage with emotional baggage: Sex is not just an act between two bodies, it is an engagement of mind and sub-conscious too. The relationship may not tend to work out and when one moves on to marry someone else, it becomes more difficult to shake off the emotional baggage from the past completely.
  2. Infidelity: Premarital relationships may lead to infidelity. Sharing close physical intimacy with a person in the past may increase the likelihood of infidelity after the relationship has run its course.

Seven ways to avoid premarital sex;

  1. Don’t allow yourself to be alone with the opposite sex in a place where temptation is easily fostered.
  2. Stay away from sexually suggestive books, magazines, photos, or movies that will elicit sexual desire.
  3. Don’t go out alone with the person you know will tempt you or easily give in to sexual sin.
  4. Build a relationship of accountability with parents and strong Christian friends especially during difficult times. Let them know your challenges and ask for help if in need of one.
  5. Sexual sins start in mind. You have to win the war in your mind first by studying the Bible and filling your mind with God’s word.
  6. Avoid occasions that will lead you to sin of sexual act, and be conscious of the type of friends you mingle with.

Do not have sex when you are not ready to make babies or to get married. Get married and take responsibility. Premarital sex leads to children born out of wedlock, and 80% of such children are being abandoned by their parents. They are left with their grandparents or guardian and most times they are not given appropriate care. This makes many becoming hoodlums and posing a threat to society.

Say No to Lust!
Say No to Premarital sex!
Say No to Abortion!
I encourage every youngster to abstain from premarital sex.
Abstinence is the latest policy. Live right and excel!

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